One of my longest goals has been to feel happy and healthy in my body and life. For far too long I’ve been at war with myself over how I look, how I feel in my body and what space my body takes up in the world. Basically, I was focusing on all the ways my body was wrong rather than all the ways my body helps me.
Rather than love my body for what it can do, I decided to hate my body for what it looked like.
This led to me intentionally and unintentionally hurting myself. Whether it was through purposefully bad food choices (a dozen cupcakes in three days. Yep.) to refusing to exercise, even when my body craved it. I resented my body and punished it accordingly. But now I’m finally getting to a place of love and appreciation for myself and want to reflect that change by taking a turn for the healthy.
I’m going to be upfront about this: I love the body positive movement so so much. It’s helped me gain acceptance and love for myself. But I also want to lose weight. Because I don’t feel healthy where I am. My weight, fitness level and lifestyle choices in general are holding me back from what I want to accomplish. I’m not trying to lose weight because I’m being told by random people that I should.
I want to be able to do the things I’ve dreamed of doing in my body. And that requires changes.
I want to go on hikes with my dog because she loves long walks in the woods. Me? Hate them. Because about 20 minutes in I’ll be tired and sore and ready to pack it up while she’s still sniffing down new scents. But the only way I’m going to get better is by actually going and hiking, so on Wednesday when it hit 20 degrees, I layered up, leashed her up and out we went on a little hike. Going up the hill sucked but I did it! And she was so excited the entire time it made my racing heart and rosy face completely worth it.
And that’s why I want to make these changes. Not because I hate myself, but because I know I can be healthier than I am right now. Because I want to be healthier than I am right now. Becoming healthier and treating my body right? I’m doing it out of love.
All of this is leading up to me saying: I’m challenging myself to 100 days of working out to kick start my healthy habits for the year. Who’s with me?